You Can't Force a Connection
by PeachPanic
Summary: Kylo Ren has a disturbing dream about Rey that has him questioning everything, and whether they have a future together after all. Fluffy/Angsty
1. Chapter 1

Kylo Ren has a disturbing dream about Rey that has him questioning everything. Fluffy/Angsty

* * *

 _"You're a monster!"_

 _"You're right, I am."_

Kylo Ren stood by himself. His eyes adjusting to his surroundings. His regular muffled and vague dreams dissolving into something more potent, more tangible.

 _"Ben..."_

He turned quickly to the voice.

A fuzzy, golden dream world. Kylo shielded his eyes against the bright light. This was not a world where Kylo Ren should exist but there he stood. The sun was setting over a vast field, where bright colored flowers grew in wild patches. He looked up, the clouds were golden, purple, tinged with a rainbow of hues. The air was sweet and humid, with a tinge of sea and salt. Kylo Ren looked down to see a stranger, not wearing his usual militant black fitted uniform, instead a sturdy grey garb. Older than his own reflection usually was. Beside him was a beautiful young woman with soft brown hair, eyes closed, a smile playing on her lips. She was leaning against him as they lay on the field, watching the brilliant sun set. She let out a contented sigh. "I don't want to go back in yet, do you?"

Ben Solo had his arms wrapped around her, "No," He murmured, "A little longer."

She grinned, "I thought you'd say that." setting herself against him.

What was this? A premonition? A dream? It was him but it wasn't. Some stranger inhabiting his own body. He felt like a voyeur. Ben Solo was caressing Rey's face. He felt as though he was watching something intimate he shouldn't be seeing. Instinctively he looked to his own hands, which looked too cold to exist in this world. So cold, she would surely recoil at his touch. But the other him, lounging on the ground looked warm. Sun drenched skin, a warm glow in his face that had certainly never been there in his life. This stranger in front of him, arms around the pretty scavenger he had been forcefully connected to. Now he felt a panic threaten to choke him as he watched them.

They didn't notice him. They continued their soft conversation, unaware of him. He sank down on the ground front of them, transfixed. Fascinated by the way she was looking at the stranger. Not with anger, distrust, or hatred. With something else entirely. Just as a warm and radiant as the setting sun. He was someone she wanted to be close with. No hesitation behind her touches, her glances, her smiles. She was laughing, something he never imagined he'd see or hear from her. What would he have said to elicit that? What world was this that they would be sitting together so close without her wanting to jump up and slit his throat. In what kind of world did Rey not view him as a monster?

Rey grinned, grabbing the front of this strangers robes, pulling him down to her as she brought her lips to his. Kylo Ren felt a stabbing pang of longing inside of him.

"We should go," Ben said breaking apart from the kiss. He stood and reached down, helping her to her feet. Her own clothes clung to her differently. She held her stomach which was round and full, and grasped his hand to steady herself as they set off, their backs to the sunset, leaving Kylo Ren in the shadows behind them.

At once the sun set, the warmth evaporated. He watched their retreating figures dissolve. The ground beneath him began to break apart in a blinding flash of light, shattering into a million piercing pieces of light, along with his body.

He had fallen off his bed, tangled in his sheets he struggled against them until his back hit the opposing wall hard. He gasped, clutching at his chest which felt tight, heavy, burdened. He fought violently against it. He fell forward on all fours, panting. Was this his future? No. Not possible. This was an illusion, sent to weaken him. It worked. He was terrified. Who was this scavenger, this girl, this...Rey, to him? Nothing. She was nothing but in this dream world she was everything. She was light and warmth. In the absence of this vision he felt the cold acutely, it sent his teeth chattering. He curled up on the floor, clutching at his blankets for warmth.

That dream world which left him sick to his stomach. Sick with worry, and because he couldn't fight the intrusive thoughts from breaking down his barriers, with an intense longing. He squeezed his eyes shut. The cold and polished facade he usually hid himself behind had fractured along with the dream, leaving him feeling exposed. This wasn't what he wanted. He knew what he wanted, what he had carefully crafted from as a child. He knew where his path lay, where his ultimate goal would lead him. The road was treacherous yes, but very rarely had he wavered...or so he let himself think.

His eyes snapped open. _She would have his child_. The implications of this vision left him weak and dazed...His cheeks flushed as his imagination flitted away from him. _Rey lay beneath him, completely bare, writhing with pleasure, looking at him with desire..._

He groaned and covered his face, his fists balled, waves of disgust crashing down on him. How could he let himself think this way about her? As if she would want any of what he saw. As if she could ever...

 _Rey_ He was angry with her too. This force bond was obviously influencing his dreams in a sick way. Connecting them in ways that were clearly impossible.

A sudden thought had him shooting up, looking around wildly. His veins filled with icy dread as there in the corner confirming his fears, she stood. Eyes wide and full of questions.

* * *

Some random little bits and pieces of a story I've had in my head. I'll try to write more this week! I'm a little rusty forgive me but I'm happy to come aboard this ship! Let me know if you like it thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

She's defensive because she knows what's happening. Her muscles tense, preparing for the incoming connection, the ensuing heated back and forth. Her hand itches for a weapon even if there's no use. She feels the familiar force rush her and looks around.

But she's surprised when he's not in his usual power stance, eyeing her curiously, coldly, like she's a particularly difficult puzzle he's detirmined to solve.

He's sleeping. Tangled locks of black hair falling over his scarred face, gentle breathing. She let's a long sigh leave her as she relaxes, she's safe from his relentless scrutiny for now. Curiously she moves closer. He can't analyze her in his sleep, he can't keep asking her questions she'd rather not answer, prodding her until their connection breaks.

She's glad his blankets are wrapped up and covering most of his body. She's not used to being this close to another person, let alone a half naked man... _murderer_...she corrects herself frowning.

She wonders what he dreams about? Do monsters dream? She dreams of wasting away on Jakku. Where she would still be this very moment if BB-8 hadn't run into her, if her dear friend Finn hadn't either. She would still be trading scraps and parts for meager portions, still waiting for the day her family would return to her, the day someone showed up to tell her she was special. She had so little hope left.

She dreams of being swallowed slowly by the sand, her fingers reaching to the heavens above where the stars burn blindingly bright, as her body withers away and blows like dust in the wind.

She also dreams of him, to her intense irritation. Some of him going into fits of rage, destroying everything at his touch. She often wakes in a cold sweat. A tall ruler clad in black, crushing the galaxy beneath his gloved hands, choking the life from her and her new friends, she sees him killing his father, mother, and then stepping over their bodies to reach her...sometimes he isn't violent though. Sometimes he just looks so tired, so worn out, like it was all he could do just to keep his eyes open. She hated these dreams most of all. She always wakes up feeling sorry for him.

Right now he looks younger in his sleep. Still scarred from Luke's light saber, the remnant of some bruise fading here and there. He has large full lips that she thinks are strange on a man but she admits, on him don't look so bad. Hesitantly she reaches out. It couldn't hurt to touch his face could it? He wouldn't notice, just one touch to see if he felt as human as he looked. As if in a daze, she is compelled forward, an unmistakable force synchronizing her movements. Her hand shakes as it reaches out to brush the hair from his face...

The moment her fingers graze his skin an explosion erupts in her head. An onslaught of images rush at her.

 _Tall and menacing, he's lost in his anger again, striking the wall of a hut repeatedly until he pulls his fists back, knuckles raw, bleeding. Tears streaming down his face which is screwed up in agony. It's grief, not rage, Rey senses in this room._

 _"These things can happen." a voice says._

 _"You can try again." says another_

 _"It shouldn't have happened to her!" he hisses, "She's healthy, she did everything right!"_

 _He strides away taking this vision with him._

 _Suddenly she sees her own body, a little older, hair lank over her shoulders, dried tear stains down her cheeks. She's sitting in bed, her hands resting in her lap. She senses an aching sadness in this version of herself. A sense of loss so great it threatens to overflow and swallow her whole. Ben Solo is on his knees beside the bed._

 _"This is my fault." he groans._

 _"How could this be your fault Ben?" She chides as she lifts his head and strokes part of his face, "We'll try again another time."_

 _"I'm cursed." he says, clutching to the front of her dress, desperately, crazed, "You could have died Rey. Women do sometimes. My grandmother did..."_

 _"Of a broken heart." she says patiently, "Your mother didn't. I didn't. And I won't next time."_

 _"Next time..." he says hollowly._

 _His eyes rise to hers, "What if this bloodline is cursed?" his voice is barely above a whisper, "I've been doomed from birth, too much Skywalker in me it never ends up right for us." his eyes are lost in shadow now. She senses something crawling back from within him, rearing its ugly head at this misfortune. No. She wouldn't allow it. Not anymore._

 _She shakes her head firmly, "I wouldn't change anything. We'll try again. I'm not weak."_

 _"That's what scares me." He croaks out, "I know how strong you are...i'm not. I never have been. You know that, you_ **see** _me. You've seen my heart."_

 _"I know you."_

She backs up bumping into a shelf knocking over a cascade of old pottery, shattering with her visions. Her hand instinctively grabbing at her stomach. Tears sprang into her eyes inexplicably. What kind of sick vision was this? Surely not a vision, a joke, a mirage...

Ben...No, Kylo Ren, is on the floor struggling against his blankets, fighting furiously. He whips his head around and sees her watching him, his eyes immediately narrow. She backs up, suddenly feeling exposed, like a bird trapped inside a temple.

"You-" he gets out, before he jumps up.

"What did you see!" He roars, striding across the room to her, " _What did you see?"_

He's two inches from her face, trying to read her expression. His teeth are clenched. She backs away feeling her own temper flaring.

"What did _you_ see?" she shoots back angrily. He hadn't any right to attack her as if she brought it all on...unless...She bites her lip. He can read her expression, her emotions. A new unfortunate side effect to the force bond.

"What did you do?" He growls at her.

"I touched you." She said hesitantly, "I saw some visions. I don't know if they're real or... or if they will be."

He eyes her coldly, "What kind of visions? What happened in them?"

"It's probably nothing.." she murmurs her face reddening. _Where do I even start..._

"Tell me damnit!" He says annoyed.

"I think I was...with child... but...but I think I lost it...I don't know."

He stops, his face clear of expression, hands balling into fists.

"You...lose...it?" he says haltingly.

He looks like he's struggling with something internally. She senses his agony, the same loss she felt in the vision. She feels heat rushing to her face, is this something he really wants? How does he manage to convince her...

"You saw it too then?" She says quietly.

He turns away from her, "No...and I'd like for you to leave now."

She's about to object, to say she doesn't have any power over this connection when he turns toward her, one hand out...and suddenly he has disappeared.

Rey lets a huff of air out. Dismissing her? Dismissing _her_ when she was the one who should be angry. It was her body he was going to ruin, destroy...and for what? Was he looking for an heir to his insidious empire?

She wants to go into a fit of rage. She wants to destroy something. She leaves the hut and is instantly drenched by a downpour. It's been raining and she hardly noticed anything happening around her. She walks quickly, slipping every so often on the slick grass until she is at a precipice over looking the sea. Breathing heavy, she _really_ wants to destroy something, _kill_...no...not quite that.

So she was to be with him in the future? Have his children? Call him Ben? Would he trick her into this? Force his way into her? She feels betrayed by this version of him. Not that she has any right, he'd only shown her... barely any courtesy. Their first force connection he had tried to get her to tell him where Luke is. _He only stops when he can't get what he wants_. She thinks angrily.

No. He wouldn't take her future away from her. If he can dimiss her, she can summon him. Blinded by her anger she calls out in her mind.

 _"Kylo Ren!"_

He is there, in front of her. He looks livid. She draws Luke's lightsaber out pointing it at him, "Don't you dare push me away. I want to know what YOU saw in your vision. Did you use me? Did your force yourself on me?"

His nostrils flare, his eyes black with rage, "You think that I... _made you_..."

She feels his emotions cascade over her, anger, shock, pain, disgust.

"There are some things even monsters like me wouldn't dream of," he spits out icily, "But it's good to know just what kind of monster you take me for."

She feels a pang of guilt, "I just...I only saw me losing it I don't know what ...what _lead_ to it...if you saw it...happening." she struggles to get the words out. Her mouth is dry and she's disarmed by his reaction. He was offended she would think of him that way.

"You wanted to know if I was dreaming of the consummation?" he says dryly.

Her face flushed, "So you didn't?"

He pauses then smirks slightly, "You may have been able to tell if I was."

He _was_ still half naked. She shakes her head at this, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed."

His anger has evaporated and he's looking at her with another expression, one she can't feel or read. He's closed himself off to her. He cocks his head to the side, his eyes searching hers.

"What scares you more Rey, me forcing myself on you...or you being a willing participant?"

Her mouth opens and closes. He smirks again, "This really is getting interesting. I look forward to our next connection."

With that she was left alone in the misty rain. Her jaw slack, light saber hanging loosely at her side.

* * *

duke15tam: I definitely could see Ben being a dad in the future (like his grandfather yes those Skywalkers haha!), maybe trying to right the wrongs he experienced as a child and I can see Rey wanting that family connection as well. She's already seeking it out in the new people she meets, Han, Luke, Leia,...Two lonely people building a family, being the parents neither of them had/appreciated. I don't think Ben was as neglected as Rey, but I do think his family failed him in a lot of ways and didn't quite know how to handle him. Maybe they assumed he'd be inherently good? I'd like to think if Ben and Rey saw any darkness in their children, they'd both be best equipped to handle it together. _"The greatest teacher, failure is."_ You know what I mean? Hmm Idk just musing it over!

Anyway thanks for the reviews, I'll try to polish these chapters up some more this weekend and I'll write more later! Hope you've all enjoyed the Holidays!


End file.
